Trading Partners, Trading Feelings
by Rose Of Doom
Summary: Hidan screws up on a mission and is sent to serve his punishment on a series of degrading missions. Deidara must oversee them but fighting breaks them apart and they must pay a price for hiding their feelings. HidaDei,No lemon,T for swearing and some gore


_**Hey guys! I've always wanted to write a story for Hidan and Deidara. This is my second favourite pairing right now :) I had this one shot started way back in April but didn't bother to finish it. Personally I reckon the flaming summary is better than the story itself but hey, I tried!:) Anyway, it's a one shot so this is it!  
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or the Akatsuki.**_

* * *

What the hell was Pein thinking? This was a bad idea. No, scratch that…it was a _stupid _idea!

Deidara stomped through the forest, a scowl etched on his usually cheerful face. A new mission had been assigned. This wasn't what pissed him off. It was the partner change that made him angry.

The Immortal Duo had returned from their latest mission, with a very angry Kakuzu. Apparently, Hidan had managed to evade the actual mission, find a nightclub and get very drunk and finally pass out in a whore house after blowing most of the mission's budget on alcohol and prostitutes.

Upon hearing this, Hidan was punished with a series of extremely degrading missions.

Unfortunately, the blonde had been forced into accompanying him, when Kakuzu refused to go with Hidan. Pein decided that _apparently_ Deidara was an ideal choice to oversee these missions and swiftly swapped the bomber and the miser around.

Deidara fumed at the thought of Kakuzu waltzing off with the puppet master on an assassination mission. He glared at the immortal who was swaggering behind him with a smirk on his face. The blonde scowled and whipped around again to continue in the direction of the village.

"Oi Blondie, what's got your fucking panties in a twist?" Hidan called playfully. Deidara growled.

"Hidan shut the fuck up un!" he snapped, "I'm not in the mood yeah."

The silver haired male snickered at the younger's attitude. It was one of his favourite things about the terrorist. True this mission was gonna be as boring as hell, but at least the company was better this time. More fun for him!

"C'mon Dei-Chan, it's our first mission together, you should be happy!" he smirked. Deidara sighed and tried to block out the annoying bastard. He felt very sorry for Kakuzu. His behaviour towards everyone and everything was now completely justified!

They arrived at a small inn for the night and Deidara grudgingly ordered a room for two. He stormed up the stairs, his movements stalked by Hidan. Wrenching the door open, he stopped and stared for a while, before groaning with frustration.

"What's wrong Blondie?" Hidan asked, his voice laced with amusement. He peered into the room and fell about laughing.

"One fucking bed!" he guffawed, "Stupid bitch thought we were a fucking couple!"

Deidara shrugged and walked in, dumping his stuff on the bed.

"Easy solution un," he stated, "You sleep on the floor yeah."

The laughter instantly stopped. Hidan slinked over to the bed and leaned closer to the seated blonde.

"Or we could _share_," he murmured seductively. Deidara blushed scarlet as he felt the older male's warm breath against his lips. He pulled himself away, his heart thundering.

"What do you think you're doing un?" he demanded. Hidan smirked and stretched out on the bed, much to Deidara's irritation.

"Just making a suggestion, Dei-Chan," he replied, his voice low and seductive. Deidara scowled a little and pushed him away.

"Leave me alone Hidan un," he grumbled. The Jashinist frowned and sidled closer.

"C'mon Dei, you want me," he whispered, "I know you do."

The blonde shifted uncomfortably. He knew if things turned violent, Hidan would easily overpower him. The Jashinist smirked, knowing that the blonde was nervous. He leaned in closer, admiring the adorable blush on his new partner's face. He grabbed Deidara and pulled him into a bruising kiss. The younger squirmed and growled at the action, attempting to pull away. Hidan slammed him down on the bed, pinning him there with his body.

Deidara didn't respond to the kiss but he didn't use full force to push him away. He wasn't sure if he wanted this at all. Hidan was very attractive but he was always disrespectful and mean towards him. He didn't want this behaviour to become a habit. Hidan bit his bottom lip rather harshly, bringing him back into the real world.

"Hidan get off un!" he yelled, using his full force to push the silver haired male to the floor. He bolted from the bed and into the small bathroom. Locking the door, he fell to the floor, panting after the assault.

Hidan growled. What was wrong with that kid? Wasn't he attractive enough or something? Okay maybe he shouldn't have forced himself on him like that but hell; Deidara was damn sexy, he just couldn't help himself!

Picking himself up off the floor, he padded towards the bathroom door and knocked.

"Deidara, look I'm fucking sorry," he called, "I thought you'd like it."

"You're fucking not un!" came the angry reply, "I'm not some damn whore yeah!"

Hidan sighed, rubbing the back of his head.

"I know, just c'mon Dei, I won't do it again if you don't want to."

Deidara couldn't help but let out a laugh.

"Yeah right un! Because I completely trust you, you bastard!"

Hidan growled and slammed his fist against the door.

"Fine be a little bitch and stay in there all night!" he yelled. Storming over to the bed, he flopped on top of the covers and shut his magenta eyes.

Deidara flinched at the harsh tones of his new 'partner's' voice. If Hidan was really mad, the mission would be a failure and he would get punished for it. Not only that, but Deidara would have to spend the entire time looking over his shoulder to make sure Hidan didn't kill him. Life truly sucked right now.

He lay down on the cold tiled floor and shut his eyes. Like hell was he sleeping in the same bed as Hidan!

* * *

Morning arrived far too quickly for Deidara. He groaned as he clambered up off the floor. His entire body ached from spending all night on the tiles of the small bathroom. He peeked his head through the door and sighed with relief to find Hidan was still asleep.

Using all his ninja skills, Deidara crept around the room, grabbing his things before locking himself in the bathroom again. He hopped into the shower and groaned happily as the hot water soothed his sore body. The mission didn't officially start until noon, so he had time to kill, avoiding Hidan.

Finishing his morning routines, he snuck out of the bathroom and tiptoed towards the door.

"Where the fuck are you going?"

Deidara froze, his hand on the door knob. He steeled himself as he turned to see Hidan sitting up in the bed, the sheets pooling at his waist, revealing the well-kept physique that could have been carved out of marble by a fine sculptor. Deidara fought down a blush as he remembered the events of last night.

"Just out un," he mumbled, "I'll fetch breakfast yeah." Hidan smirked and nodded.

"Gee, thanks Dei-Chan, who knew you fucking cared about little old me?" he snickered. Deidara scowled.

"Shut up un," he growled. Hidan chuckled.

"You're sexy when you're angry," he smirked. Deidara growled and threw a kunai.

"Hidan, fuck off un!" he yelled "I try to be friendly and all you do is act like a fucking jackass! Well I've had enough! You will complete this fucking mission then we will go back to base where I don't have to fucking speak to you or look at you yeah!"

Hidan scowled and flopped back into the bed.

"I was fucking complimenting you, no need to be a fucking bitch about it," he grumbled. Deidara slammed the door behind him and stormed down the steps and out into the street.

He couldn't understand Hidan at all. He was a cruel, disrespectful, sadomasochist who enjoyed toying with people for his own sick pleasure. This was a fact that Deidara knew all too well. He had dealt with people like him all his life. It was just unfortunate that this particular problem was one that he couldn't rid himself of with explosives.

He bought some food and carried it back to the inn, his mind completely wrapped up in his own thoughts. He opened the door and walked over to the small coffee table to put down the food. He cast his eyes over the room and frowned.

Hidan was nowhere to be seen.

The blonde walked over to the door to the bathroom and knocked.

"Hidan, you in there un?" he called. No response sounded. The blonde cursed and looked frantically round the room for any sign of where he had gone. He spotted a note and hurried over to read what it said.

'_I've left to do the fucking mission. Then we're going straight back to base. I'll wait for you at the entrance to the fucking village so we can go together. Be there or I leave your sexy little ass behind._

_Hidan'_

Deidara scowled and scrunched up the page. The note didn't bother him, in fact he preferred it this way, however, Pein insisted on two man squads for every mission. The blonde grabbed his weapons and headed out the window towards the rendezvous for the client and himself.

He travelled for around an hour outside of the village to a small clearing in the forest. He arrived to find no one in sight and no trace of his partner. He growled and cursed up a storm.

"That asshole just had to go off on his own un!" he snarled at nothing. He ran a hand through his blonde locks as he pondered what to do. His only real option now was to go back to the village and wait for Hidan.

He began to walk back, since Hidan probably wouldn't be finished until late. The forest was eerily quiet now that he took the time to notice where he was at. There were no small creatures, no birdsong, no early summer breeze. The blonde felt his instincts screaming at him that something was coming. He hoped, prayed and wished that it wasn't Hidan.

For once his prayers were answered.

But not in the way that he wanted.

"Aren't you pretty?"

Deidara froze and glared around at the bastard who called him 'pretty'. Oh yes, blood would be spilt. His frosty gaze landed on a group of five men, all armed, all smirking at him…and all ugly as fuck! He growled.

"I'm a fucking _guy _un!" he snarled, hands settling on his clay pouches. The leader of the five flashed a feral grin and snickered with his lackeys.

"Oh don't worry, we're not picky," he replied, hand gripping the handle of a katana, "Ain't that right fellas?"

The blonde rolled his eyes and allowed his newest creation to crawl unnoticed towards the ugly bandits. He let a smirk crawl across his face as he formed a hand seal.

"You bastards are pissing me off un," he stated lazily, "Katsu!"

Four of the bandits noticed his bombs and leapt away at the last minute, leaving one idiot to get blown to teeny tiny bits. Deidara couldn't hold in his almost insane laughter as he darted around, throwing bombs at the enemies. They seemed to be quite accomplished at dodging. This only frustrated the artist. He became a little too sloppy, leaving himself wide open.

"Come here, you little bastard!" the leader screamed as he slammed his bulky frame into Deidara's side. He crashed into a tree, having the wind knocked out of him. He gasped for air as he struggled to sit up. He was pretty sure a few of his ribs were bruised. He growled at the four assailants who were circling around them. Deidara threw more explosives which took out another.

The swords apparently weren't there for decoration as Deidara also found, when he had managed to stand up. One guy, smaller than the remaining two, rushed Deidara with his twin blades, cutting the blonde's left side and slicing up his arms a bit. He hissed in pain and leapt back, trying to put some distance between himself and the three snickering bastards. He placed a hand on his side to stop the bleeding.

"This is taking too long un!" he growled, "And now I sound like Danna un!"

The blonde pulled out some C2 and began moulding while dodging more blades. He was running out of clay. He hadn't anticipated a fight like this on such a simple mission. He used the last of his explosives, placing them in strategic areas around the clearing. All he had to do was push the pawns into place and the fireworks would begin.

He bolted around, using his much smaller frame to his advantage by weaving in and out of the three enemies, pushing one into place, luring another somewhere else. He had to get this done fast if he wanted to have a hope in hell of finishing them off before he passed out. He knew he was sturdy and could keep going for a long time but even he had his limits as Sasori enjoyed reminding him.

Once the three thugs were in place, he formed his hand seal and screamed his favourite word.

"KATSU!"

The clearing went up in flames, the blast of the explosions knocked Deidara back through the trees, a good several metres from the original battlefield. He coughed dust from his lungs as he struggled to push himself off the ground. Panting heavily, he squinted across the forest floor, trying to make out any sign of life as his vision swam.

"Y-y-you fucking bitch!" growled a voice somewhere behind him. He turned his head around just to have a foot stamp on his back. He gasped and struggled against the heavy trunk of a leg.

"G-get off m-me un," he wheezed, feeling the air get crushed from his lungs. Like hell he was going down this easily. He twisted around, to glare up at his enemy as the foot which had previously been pressing down on him, came back down for another crushing blow. Deidara coughed violently, blood spewing out of his mouth, threatening to drown him in his own fluids.

The thug above him looked like hammered shit. He was covered in dirt, blood, sweat and had several large looking splinters protruding from his skin. The whole left side of his face was burnt, blistered and deformed, the left eye was punctured and bleeding. He was also missing a hand and two fingers on the other. He held up an old rusty blade and grinned down at the blonde bomber maliciously.

"Look what you fucking did," he hissed, blood and saliva spraying Deidara's face as the man knelt down, one foot still firmly pushing down on his already bruised ribs. He smirked anyway and decided to play.

"What you didn't appreciate my art un?" he questioned, "Surely you should have been able to realise the pure beauty and perfection of that single shining moment of transient beauty, that will stay implanted in your mind for years to come yeah."

The thug blinked and growled at him.

"You fucking did this to me!" he snapped, "So now I'm gonna cut you up! You're too pretty anyway for a guy! If you even are a man!"

Deidara growled angrily but couldn't help to flinch away from the knife edge that was being pressed against his left cheek. Panic started to rise in him as the blade pushed into his skin and started to travel painfully slowly towards the azure orb which was widening and watering with the pain, dust and fear. He let out a blood curdling scream.

* * *

"What the-?" Hidan exclaimed as a huge fireball erupted from the forest northwest of him. He had finished the mission and was headed back towards the hotel to make sure Deidara had checked out. Contrary to popular belief, Hidan was pretty good at putting two and two together and almost instantly recognised that explosion as Deidara's handiwork. No one else could be as powerful and dangerously random as the artist.

He raced towards the source and sure enough, he found a burning clearing with scorched earth and the remains of what were once tall, majestic trees, now nothing more than charred, splintered stumps.

The Jashinist hunted around for any signs of life and managed to find the remnants of a battle. A broken sword handle, a few body parts; someone had succeeded in seriously pissing Deidara off!

He was about to search the surrounding area when he heard a familiar voice.

"-Perfection of that single shining moment of transient beauty, that will stay implanted in your mind for years to come yeah!"

Yep, definitely Deidara, verbal tick included. Hidan approached cautiously, peering round a still miraculously standing tree.

A badly disfigured male was kneeling over _his _partner, a bloody blade in his mutilated hand.

"You fucking did this to me!" he said, very angrily, "So now I'm gonna cut you up! You're too pretty anyway for a guy! If you're even a man!"

Hidan watched in horror as the knife cut into Deidara's perfect face. He gripped the handle of his scythe and primed himself for attack. Just as Deidara let out a scream, he raced forward and swung his scythe round. All three blades bit into the man's badly burnt torso, splattering Deidara below him with blood. He dropped the blade as his eyes widened and mouth gaped. He looked shakily round at Hidan before slumping forward. Hidan scowled and pulled his scythe away from Deidara, using his foot to push the ugly sack of meat off his weapon. He wiped the blades clean and looked down at his partner.

He looked terrible. The hair which was usually well kept was splayed out carelessly below him, covered in blood and dirt. His face was smudged with ash and his body was covered in several cuts and many bruises and even a few burns. Hidan knelt down slowly next to the unresponsive blonde.

"Dei, you okay?" he asked, swiftly and gently lifting his partner into his lap. The bomber registered his presence by grabbing a fist of his cloak.

"H-Hidan un?" he mumbled, looking dazed. The Jashinist grinned and nodded, hugging him closer.

"Yeah, don't fucking worry, I'm here," he said soothingly, removing his cloak and wrapping it around the younger ninja. He had learned from Kakuzu that if someone was in shock, you had to keep them warm and right now, Deidara looked like he had seen a ghost.

Lifting him up, he ran towards the village he had just left and hurried into the inn they were staying at. Rushing past the receptionist who gave them both startled looks, Hidan unlocked the door and opened it. He set Deidara down on the bed and locked the door behind them. He looked over to see the bomber trembling and snuggling into his cloak.

"Deidara what the fuck happened?" he asked quietly. Deidara looked over at him and swallowed.

"I-I went looking for you un," he replied slowly, almost whispering, "T-they saw me in the f-forest and thought I was a girl. They were g-gonna rape me or something even when I s-said I was male yeah. I fought them all; there were five of them. I t-thought I g-got them all but that one lived un."

Hidan growled and pulled the blonde into a hug. No one would hurt Deidara again! He wasn't gonna leave his side. He couldn't.

"C'mon Dei, let's get you cleaned up," he said gently. He felt so out of character at his own kindness it scared him a little. What the hell had Deidara done to him?

Once he had coaxed Deidara into letting go of him, he slipped the cloak off his small frame and helped him walk towards the bathroom. The blonde was exhausted and wanted nothing more than to sleep, but Hidan insisted in cleaning his wounds first.

He sat shivering on the counter next to the sink as Hidan filled the bath. Once it was full of hot water, he turned around in order for Deidara to strip down and slip into the tub. He was about to walk out when a hand grabbed his own.

"N-no don't go un." Hidan shut his eyes and fought back the sadness upon hearing that pitiful voice. He turned back and looked into Deidara's pleading blue eyes. His heart melted and he couldn't even think about saying no.

"Okay," he said quietly, kneeling down next to the tub. The blonde gave him a weak grateful smile. Hidan sat on his knees and began to rinse Deidara's hair. He sighed contentedly as the Jashinist's pale hands massaged his scalp and lathered shampoo into the silky strands. Once his hair was cleaned and rinsed, Hidan moved on to rubbing soap over the blonde's shoulders and back. He hissed a little in pain when Hidan touched his injuries, which he apologised for.

"Once you're clean, I'll get a first aid kit and some antiseptic shit," Hidan murmured reassuringly. Deidara nodded and looked over his shoulder. He gave Hidan a small smile and leaned back against his bare chest.

"Thank you Hidan un," he murmured, "I'm sorry."

Hidan smirked a little and hugged the terrorist to him.

"What for?" he queried. Deidara shifted around slightly. He looked up and sapphire blue met shimmering magenta.

"I shouldn't have pushed you away un," he said, leaning forward and pressing a gentle kiss to his mouth. Hidan's eyes widened a little. He recovered and wrapped his arms around the blonde's smaller frame as he deepened the kiss. Deidara moaned a little as Hidan pushed his tongue into his mouth. They melded their lips together as tongues danced lovingly between their mouths. Finally they had to break apart for air. Hidan starred down at the younger ninja with a bewildered expression.

"What changed your fucking mind?" he asked, smirking as he rubbed his nose against Deidara's who blushed a little violently.

"I-I…ummm…un," he stuttered and fidgeted. Hidan chuckled and grabbed a towel.

"Here, dry off, I'll get that medic shit," he stated, casually. Deidara nodded and climbed out of the tub and grabbed the towel.

Hidan hurried out of the room and looked through their things to find the first aid kit he always took on missions in case he pissed off Kakuzu and he refused to stitch a limb back on. He set the equipment on the bed and turned around to see Deidara standing against the doorway, towel wrapped around his waist and his damp hair clinging to his bare chest. Hidan grimaced when he saw the nasty cuts riddling his body.

"I'm pretty fucking good at this now," he said, remaining cheerful for Deidara, "Kakuzu's such a bitch sometimes I have to stitch up myself!"

Deidara smiled and sat down on the bed next to the Jashinist, who was holding a needle and thread.

"Okay, this is gonna hurt," he muttered, taking hold of the bomber's slim arm. Deidara didn't mind the pain too much and just focused on the gentle touches from Hidan as he closed the wounds.

"So did you finish the mission un?" he asked quietly. Hidan nodded and told him to lay done as he got the antiseptic stuff. Deidara hissed when he started dabbing the wound on his side.

"Sorry. But yeah it was easy, just had to be a fucking errand boy for the damn village!" he chuckled. Deidara laughed a little with him.

Hidan finished cleaning and stitching his wounds and put the first aid kit away. Deidara curled up and quickly fell asleep. He was exhausted. Hidan came back in and lay down beside him. The blonde almost immediately latched onto him like a new born. Hidan grinned and kissed his forehead gently.

"I might just fuck up more missions in future," he whispered, closing his eyes.

"If you do, I'll kill you un," Deidara retorted, tiredly, snuggling in to his chest.

* * *

Deidara and Hidan walked slowly through the base, making their way to Pein's office to report in. Deidara was feeling much better and was smiling and babbling about art, while Hidan was listening to every word; or pretending to anyway.

They waked into Pein's office and stood before his desk. Ringed eyes flickered up and he stopped his work.

"Well, Deidara how did he do?" he asked casually. The blonde smirked a little.

"He was fine un," he replied politely, "No massacres, no unhappy customers and no damaged reputation yeah."

Pein smirked and lifted a scroll.

"Since you two work so well together, here is another mission for you," he said, a hint of amusement passing across his face. Deidara took it, as the leader of the pair and read over the details. He visibly paled, causing Hidan to snatch the scroll. He scanned over it and burst out laughing.

"Oh yes Leader-sama!" he exclaimed, "We would _love _to do this one!"

Deidara growled and proceeded to chase Hidan around the base. Konan looked up from her work in surprise and raised an eyebrow at Pein.

"What was so bad about it?" she asked curiously. Pein smirked.

"They're going to go under cover as a married couple to attend a party and _subtly _assassinate a Lord," he replied casually, "Deidara would have to seduce the Lord and slip a poison into his drink."

Konan let out a giggle and went back to her work. A loud 'boom' resonated throughout the base followed by a scream filled with lots of swearing.

"I don't think subtle is their style," she remarked casually. Pein shook his head and chuckled a little.

"I knew they would make a good team though," he commented, "Their feelings were rather obvious."

Konan shook her head and smiled at her old friend.

"You always loved to play matchmaker," she laughed. Pein shrugged and went back to work. So what if he did? Every criminal mastermind had at least one guilty pleasure!

* * *

**_I always love interactions between Konan and Pein! I love the idea that they can still joke around a little! It makes them seem less sad!:') And Hidan and Deidara make an awesome pairing in my book! Not as good as SasoDei but still great! I also apologise for making Hidan seem rather OOC but I tried to keep them in character as much as possible. But Hidan's personality is just rather difficult to put in a romance story ya know!:) Anyway, hope you liked it. If you did great, if you didn't, feel free to tell me how crap I am and that you could do sooooo much better!:P Cause I probably won't care!;) No seriously though, comments are always appreciated and advice is golden! Please review!xx_**


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